Bobby and Amy’s story: Living confidently

4 September 2024

My son Bobby sustained his spinal cord injury at birth. He was in a breech position, and his head became stuck beneath my ribcage during the planned caesarean. It was during this that his spinal cord was damaged.

I just remember there was suddenly panic in the room and staff started running in – I didn’t even realise what had happened at the time.

I have PTSD as a result. If I hadn’t had counselling since then, I would not be able to cope now. Certain sounds, such as ambulance sirens and hospital beeps, can trigger me and put me back into that room. I don’t think a lot of people understand that can happen.

It wasn’t until Bobby was a toddler that we understood the extent of his injury. As he got older, we discovered that he would need to use a wheelchair to get around. This was a challenge for us, as Bobby’s older brother is also a wheelchair user.

Mobility was one of the main issues, especially when both of my sons were very little. If Dad was at work, then how would I get them out and about? Even something as seemingly simple as going out to dinner at a restaurant could be frustratingly hard.

As Bobby got older and started to understand the extent of his injury, he also struggled with his wellbeing. Although he was used to disability – having attended nursery with his brother – he started to encounter difficulties when he entered mainstream school.

I don’t think Bobby cared at first because he knew no different. He went to nursery that was attached to his older brother’s specialist school. When he went to primary school, he realised he was the only kid who used a wheelchair there.

That’s when we started finding problems. He began to question things, asking why he couldn’t just take lessons to help him walk. One of his friends even offered to write to a popular YouTuber to see if he could get him a new spinal cord!

It’s only very recently that he has fully realised that he will not be able to walk when he gets older. Fortunately, Back Up was there to help us. I found a supportive community of other parents, and Bobby was able to see what was possible for him as he grows up.

Last summer, we went on one of Back Up’s Multi Activity Courses in the Lake District. Bobby had the chance to try adventurous outdoors activities with other kids in a similar situation. It really helped Bobby come out of his shell, feel happy, and understand how he can thrive as a young person with a spinal cord injury. Importantly, Bobby met Back Up’s volunteers – young people and adults with real experience living long-term with a spinal cord injury.

Bobby tried everything and everything on this course – from abseiling to kayaking. He came away with a real can-do attitude! He’s been happier doing more for himself, trying to be as independent as he can.

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